Insecure on HBO, It's About Time...

 Insecure on HBO, It's About Time...

     One day I picked up Issa Rae's book, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, and instantly fell in love. It was exactly the book I needed at the time as an awkward black girl myself. I knew the next step was watching her show Insecure, but without a cable package or access to HBO I was really stuck. I just had to deal with my FOMO, and wait until I was able to tune in. I've been dying to watch Insecure for years...literally years. Many colleagues, shows, and blogs talked about how amazing it is. Now five years later, I was finally able to binge the show of my dreams (shout out to my roommate's brother & HBO Max).

     Needless to say, it only took me three days to finish all four seasons (I blame work, because I'm sure I would've been able to finish in a day and a half otherwise). Where to even begin describing this show...? It is a complete package: complex character development, incorporation of the present culture, diversity, a terrific soundtrack, and the right combination of predictable moments, suspense, and cringe that keeps you coming back for more. Each character and scene is so necessary for setting a tone, and I absolutely love how no matter what, you can find something to relate with.

     Character development is a make-or-break decision factor for me being invested into a show or movie. With movies it's easier to continue watching it even if there's no character development based on how many minutes you've already put in. Whereas,with a show, you can decide it's just not your thing and never watch it again. In Insecure each character develops so much throughout each season, weather for good or bad, that you cannot take your eyes off the screen. There are many times I wanted for a character to win so bad, that when they lose I can pinpoint times in my own life where I felt that same loss. The way the characters stories intertwine makes for deep backstories that leave very little plot-holes. Even where there are slight plot-holes they are easily mended in just a few scenes and set to intentional music that takes you exactly where you need to go.

     I was talking with my partner and trying to determine which character I am. To no surprise I know I'm at least 60% Issa. She's fun, fashionable, worked at a non-profit company for many years but also has bigger dreams. She's at a crossroads with her career because although she loves the work that she does, she doesn't feel as if she fits in and is constantly being questioned or talked about by her co-workers. Also because she is the main character, you get a deeper insight into the duality of her personality. She does this thing where talks to herself in the mirror. She uses her “mirror bitch” to hype herself up to gain the confidence that she needs to get through different situations, but sometimes she can also be very disappointed in her mirror persona. In the past I used to do this a lot, not really rapping, but mainly just talking to myself. It's hard to see yourself without really truly SEEING yourself. Sometimes we can get caught in our own head so much that we react to life in a reckless way. When you have the insight into your emotions, you can plan to make better decisions and hopefully pause before you react. Like in the show, usually the fantasy is much better than the reality.

     I think I'm also 20% Molly for a few reasons. Molly is the type of friend you can depend on, weather you just need a listening ear, realness, or someone to roll with you on any type of mission. She's spontaneous, adventurous, and sassy. Despite all her amazing qualities, her inability to apply the things she says to her own life is one of her biggest downfalls. Her career would lead you to believe that she gives great advice, but it usually presents itself as highly critical judgment without key facts. Molly is the friend that you can't live without, but also are afraid of. Because she is so strong-willed it can seem like she's always trying to prove something. She wants to prove you wrong about her, or make you feel the wrath of her disappointment in you. Many times I've been told by friends after a big blow out that they were scared to talk to me, because they feared my words and disappointment in them. Although I can see where that could be true, I feel like I'm a rational person and although I may get disappointed for a moment avoiding me should never be the option. Molly on the other hand will let go of ANYTHING that doesn't serve her in that moment, even if it's a best friend.

     Another character that I identify with is Kelli, about 10%. She is absolutely ridiculous in all the right ways. She's usually the comic relief, and always wants to find the best out of any situation. She keeps it real, even if keeping it real makes you wanna facepalm. If you're looking to have a good time you have to invite Kelli, and you're damn sure she's gonna be at the center of it. Even though she may seem to only have one thing on her mind (*cough* some good dick *cough*), she is very much so an emotional creature. She values her community and her friendships above anything else. When her relationship with her best friend is being compromised, she's deeply torn up about it. As a person who has many acquaintances, I don't consider myself to have a lot of real friends. Kelli's best friend on the show is Tiffany, and she will do anything for her. I have a best friend of over 20 years, and although we're thousands of miles apart, I will still do anything for her. My friendship with her is the basis for all my other friendships, so if we were to ever not be in a good place, it would literally break my heart.

     Lastly, I believe that I'm 10% Lawrence. He's such a complex character, it's hard to describe the aspects that I identify with without giving the story away. In the beginning Lawrence seems like an unmotivated bum, yet he's dealing with a lot of things under the surface. Although he presents as one way, you learn that he's a very ambitious person that's just fallen on hard times despite all the support he's been given. I would say that Lawrence is a victim of bad timing. When his life starts to turn around in a positive way there's always something that knocks him a few steps backwards. In the past it always seemed like good opportunities would come to me, but I wouldn't have the tools that I needed in order to do it in a seemless manner. Or the “right” person would come into my life, but I wasn't in the mental space to be with them or vice versa. Lawrence is the type of person who is always searching for fulfillment: in his career, in his relationships, or for a higher power. All the things that Lawrence is searching for, I too am searching for. I don't feel fulfilled by my current career. I have many great ideas, but have trouble getting them off the ground. I don't wanna settle for less than I'm worth, even though sometimes it's necessary for you to do so in order to get to where you wanna be.

In all of the characters of the show I see a little bit of myself in, even the ones I didn't mention (Frieda, Andrew, Nathan, etc.). That's what makes this show so great, the fact that it's relatable. Without any spoilers mentioned (as hard as it was), I'm very excited to see how they pull off season five. Due to the coronavirus pandemic, I read that they had to halt production just like many other shows and movies. Hopefully by the fall there's a vaccine and they'll be able to continue shooting the show. I'm excited and I hope you are too! 

Here's a playlist from Spotify of over 300 songs from the show to get you in the mood for Insecure: